Indecisiveness – Breaking Free from Fear


Decisions are a normal part of life.  From the moment we’re born we begin to make them and never stop.  Throughout our life we make good ones and bad ones not always knowing the difference until later.  Some decisions take more time and others are spontaneous; subconscious if you will.

Depending on the person, it may be a burden overshadowed by fear just to decide whether they want to have Chinese food or a Burger for dinner.  Not to make light of indecisive people because it really can be a challenge for some to make the smallest of everyday decisions like when to eat, what to wear, what television show to watch, or simply whether to call a friend when they need to talk.

What drives our inability to be decisive?  Without any doubt, fear of the unknown is one of the primary influences on a person when they are making a choice.  But, is that a bad thing?  I would contend it can be both good and not so good. 

All too often when we’re young the lack of fear allows us to make irrational and impulsive choices often leading us to a destructive end.  As we age and have the scars to show for those impulsive decisions, we tend to be overly cautious and may miss opportunities because of it.

So, yes, fear of not touching the hot stove or walking out into the middle of a busy street will keep us safe.  But when fear begins to bind us in knots leaving us crippled by it, is when we need to break free.  Every decision becomes a burden.  When making the smallest of decisions we hear that, ‘What if?’ ringing through our minds.  The larger decisions may even lead us into a panic attack rendering us helpless.

As parents the fear factor is something we must contend with every day.  On one hand we want to protect our children from every kind of harm and on the other we want them to learn from their mistakes like we did.  I cringe when I think about the things I did as a child while playing outside.  Parents today would NEVER allow their kids to do most of what we considered normal.  Kids today are in car seats until they’re in elementary school.  I don’t remember ever using a seat belt.  The back seat was our territory to fight over and use as a trampoline if we wanted (well, maybe not quite that bad, but you get the point). 

How do we know when fear is keeping us from making decisions or binding us so badly that we are ineffective?  For most of us it’s not whether we know it’s there because we live with it constantly. It’s knowing what to do about it.  So, how do we overcome fear so we can be free to take chances again and let go of the constant worry?

There really isn’t a quick solution, unfortunately.  Most of our fears are built from years of hurt, failure, mistakes, or being told by others to be afraid of one thing or another.  The first step is to recognize where fear has us bound in our life (easy one).  The second step is to realize that fear is not always reality because, if we can see it for what it is (usually a lie) then it will be easier to overcome.  The third, most important step, is to ask God to help us by giving us courage, wisdom, and faith. 

Having the wisdom to know truth from a lie also comes from experience and open-minded research.  Not believing everything we read on the Internet is a great start.  Then, having the courage and faith in God knowing that He is with us, to step out on what we know to be true, even if we fail, will begin to break the chains of fear in our life.  Every time we do that, whether we fail or succeed, we take one more step to freedom, and one day, we’ll look back and see how far the chains of fear have fallen behind us on our way to a brave new way of living our life…

Love always

Restored and Refreshed


The Mrs. and I recently watched one of our favorite home shows where they took a small house located on a giant lot and restored it into something beautiful.  The highlight of the home wasn’t only the renovation, but the fact that there was a private pond (small lake really) in their backyard where they could step outside and enjoy the relaxing view.

When they began, the home had every issue one could imagine; everything from termite damage, foundation issues, water damage, rodent infestations, outdated electrical, rotten plumbing, and every floor had to be replaced.  By the time they finished the work, it was almost completely new.  Having only paid fifteen thousand dollars for the home and land, the owner then spent another fifty thousand into renovating it (all she could afford).  With the pond in the back combined with what the show did for her, it is now probably worth more than double what she put into it. 

In many ways, that old rundown house reminds me of life.  So many times, life tears at us and breaks us down.  The infestation of greed, anger, and bitterness eat into us all the way down to our core.  Over time, the enemy comes to steal from us, poor decisions cause the loss of structure, and fear wreaks havoc with our security until, one day, we’re only a shell of what we were.

It’s at that point, if we only ask, that the Great Carpenter comes in and brings new life to our weather worn hearts. He kicks out the enemy, reinforces our inner foundation with joy and peace, heals the wounds that brought brokenness, and refreshes us with a new coat of Spiritual paint. 

When He’s done, we’ll look better than we ever did before; inside and out.  The wounded, broken home of our heart will be completely restored, and He’ll put His peace where chaos once was.  When we open the door to our heart, we’ll look out and see the fresh, clear water of His Spirit.  All that was meant to destroy us will now be gone leaving only a beautiful work completed by His very hands…

Love always

Still, The Stress Comes Back


Tonight, there was one thing on my heart.  Although it’s Spring Break for many of us, there is still plenty of stress happening in our lives, whether at work or at home.  Stress can destroy us emotionally and physically.  It’s one of the toughest things to deal with.

I try to channel my stress in ways that are constructive like focus at work, walking with the Mrs., enjoying a sunset (not many of those lately), or just spending time relaxing while sharing a good movie with the Mrs.  Still, the stress comes back. 

For those who know me, I’m really am not a worrier.  I don’t sit and mull over things again and again.  Over the years, I’ve learned to take challenges for what they are and not make them bigger in my mind than they are in real life.  Still, the stress comes back.

Sure, I have allowed myself the occasional non-productive ways to deal with stress like staying up too late binge-watching a good show on Netflix, eating too many of those York mints, or just acting like a total goof annoying the Mrs. to no end.  Still, the stress comes back. 

The reality is that we’ll always have stress.  Jesus didn’t promise us a life without it.  He said to us a long time ago, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble (stresses). But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  He didn’t promise us a rose garden, but He did promise us His peace. 

His peace is all we need.  Sure, some of the natural ways of dealing with stress help, but in the end, the only real way of dealing with it is through His peace that overcomes all the stress that keeps come back again and again and again.  Tonight, if you’re needing His peace in your life, take a moment to ask Him to fill and touch your heart with it.  He will give you His peace beyond anything we can do to deal with the stresses we face.  He will not only give you peace, but He will lift any of the burdens you’re carrying too.  We just need to ask…

Love always